What Do I Even Want?

I wake up lately and wonder...what is it that I want. I think it's extremely difficult to find your way in a town of no opportunites. But I was raised to be a strong, independent, go-getting, motivated woman. So I KNOW I need to be the one to find the opportunity and defeat this place of endless gossip, drama, poverty, and games. The demographic here is so small. I truly miss living in a place where I had my choice of guys, jobs, friends...just more people and places to take advantage of. I know I want a family eventually, but around here I can't even manage to find a decent boyfriend. Living in a "college town" and being 27 years old is not where I saw myself  being 5 years ago, and not a place where there are MEN that I want (I just cant bring myself to date another guy younger than me and go through the bullshit again). After I got my Associates and transfered here I was excited about attending SUNY Cortland. But after 2 years in, I left...for love. Then came back and worked two years, putting college aside. And now I want to go back, but I want to move, and I want to just get marrried, and just have a career without the additional college degree.and.....I want it all! Do you see...WHAT DO I EVEN WANT? It's hard....life. I don't know. I'm just frustrated with where I am in life. I know I have the potential for so much more, yet here I am in this waste of a town thats going nowhere. I have nothing truly keeping me here....so why do I stay? Out of comfort? That cant be...I am not happy here. I'm happy, but as I look to where my future may lead living here, that happiness turns into stress and panic. Am I gonna end up living here forever? When there are places I have lived and visited that are so much better?!! Just wondering. I know I will overcome this fork in the road, as I have overcome much bigger obstacles in my life. Time to really put things into perspective. And that means forgetting about my ex (a guy I stayed with despite his immaturity and inability to show love and affection...he said it, but Lord knows he didnt mean it). He's just a crappy boyfriend. With him aside and me focusing on myself, all of this wondering and stress will vanish. I'm putting MY LIFE AND FUTURE and HAPPINESS in harms way over a loser. And he's a complete down grade from my previous ex (love of my life). Time for change. And only I can do it. So watch out world. I'm over this crap and ready to move forward (whether that means actually moving or of course mentally moving on and pushing through). Thats it....